I was seventy-two and a half years old when I donated my left kidney to a recipient who I did not know at the time of the donation. I live on Long Island in New York. The recipient, interestingly, was seventy-five years old when he received my kidney. While living kidney donors are certainly not prolific, a donor/recipient pair with a combined total age of almost 150 years old certainly is extremely rare. Of course, the most common question that has been asked of me before and after the donation (fortunately, no one asked me anything DURING the surgery) was “WHY did I donate?” I will answer that question later!

How did I even come to think about donating a kidney? It was not until approximately 18 months prior to my donation that the thought even occurred to me. I was bringing my good friend home from the hospital after she altruistically donated her kidney, she is more than 10 years YOUNGER than me. Frankly, my initial thoughts about donating, as I was bringing my friend home from the hospital, were that this is NOT something I wanted to get involved with. My friend, having just donated, certainly was not in an exceptionally good frame of mind. Driving home in New York City streets with bumper-to-bumper traffic and potholed streets, my friend was feeling every bump we hit. She was uncomfortable and not happy, understandably. I said to myself, “this does not look like something I want to even explore” despite the wonderful idea of saving someone’s life.

During the months following my friend’s donation, I noted that the worst time of her donation was, in fact, the drive home. She recovered remarkably quickly and was walking/running 5k and 10k races soon after surgery. This made me think, “maybe I should look into it even though I am extremely pain adverse.” I hate pain and do not tolerate pain very at all and I am a miserable patient.

Time went by and I kept thinking how I could, in fact, save someone’s life. The more I thought about it, the more I discussed it with my friend and the more I spoke with other donors, it was something into which I should look. 

Eight years ago, my wife died from uterine cancer. My wife suffered for three years after the diagnosis. It was a devasting time for my wife during her attempt to survive the cancer. I had an extremely challenging time after her death accepting what happened to her at such a youthful age. We were truly fortunate to have spent over 40 years together; thirty-six as a married couple. During the period after her death, many of my friends helped me through life, thankfully.

After my wife died, I set out to honor her by raising a service dog for Canine Companions (headquartered in Santa Rosa, California). The puppy I named and raised in my wife’s honor was named “Linda VIII” after my wife). During the 18 months of my socializing and training the puppy I met another puppy raiser. Through the training process together we grew to know each other, and we married. We married in December 2022. When I mentioned to my new wife that I was seriously thinking about donating a kidney she was not very enthusiastic about the idea, and I was still hesitant but willing to continue to explore the idea. My new wife, understandably, was concerned about the possible complications that could have resulted from the surgery.

After our initial discussions we decided that it was best if my wife attended every meeting, every test and every interview that I was subjected to so she would be as educated about the surgery as I would be. As it turned out, my wife became much more comfortable and confident about the surgery, especially after meeting with the surgeon who was going to perform the surgery. The surgeon was excellent, and she gave us all the time we wanted, provided an incredible about of information and assured us that my age was not a negative factor, and my health was excellent. Prior to my surgery I completed, among other things, the NYC Marathon several times, the Chicago Marathon and the Boston Marathon just a year prior to the surgery. I also completed a full Ironman Triathlon at age 60. After meeting with the surgeon my wife was completely confident about the surgery and the process to see if I was eligible to donate but she was skeptical that I passed the psychiatric part of the process; I am not convinced that she believes I passed those tests.

Once approved for the surgery I began to inform the rest of my family, brothers and sisters-in-law and other relatives. Most people were supportive, but some were not, which led me to question my decision to go forward. It was a good thing as once I made my ultimate decision to proceed with the donation, I did feel that I received everyone’s thoughts and concerns about the donation. My wife and I were confident about having the surgery. I was much more concerned about the recovery and how my health situation might change post-surgery than I was concerned about the surgery itself. I was extremely healthy prior to the donation. I did not want the donation to compromise my health, but, by this time in the process, I was willing to accept that if I could save someone’s life. 

My surgery was early morning. I was done by noon and in recovery. I got into my room shortly after I woke up from the surgery. I was still recovering from the anesthesia but after it wore off, I was feeling surprisingly good; much better than I anticipated. The surgeon did an excellent job, and I was up and walking shortly after the surgery. The nurses were exceptional and kept me comfortable without providing me with so many drugs that I was out of it. My wife was able to stay in the room with me and she was able to sleep through the night. I was too anxious to sleep as I was told to walk as much as possible. I walked around the hospital floor several times during the night which enabled me to leave the hospital just over 24 hours after I left the operating room. I was in some pain during the drive home but was able to get home, over an hour drive in New York City traffic.

My recovery after surgery was, thankfully, truly uneventful. I was lucky in that the only pain medication that I needed was Tylenol and that was only for about a week. At my 2-week post-op visit with the surgeon I was off all medications and allowed to drive. About a week later, I walked my first 5k event with some friends; it was not quick, but I felt good. I was thrilled to be able to walk the races and enormously proud to be wearing my KDA run gear. Two weeks after the race I drove to Florida from New York (1,220 miles) with my wife and three dogs. I did all the driving, and I was perfectly fine. Within 6 weeks post-surgery I was walking most of the Disney Marathon as a coach for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training.

As I draft this article, I am 4 days short of 6-months from the donation. I feel great and would be willing to do it again, but my surgeon said she would not allow me to do that and would immediately send me to a psychiatrist if I did suggest it.

What about my recipient? While I have not been able to meet him yet, we have had several Zoom meetings and communicate several times each week. He informed me that he had an exceedingly challenging time getting a kidney. He was near death and was not convinced that he would survive long enough to get to the donation date. He had one scheduled surgery prior to my kidney being available but the first kidney donation fell through within 7 days prior to the surgery date. My recipient was desperate – of course, I knew nothing at all about any of this prior to surgery. Turns out, fortunately, he was able to survive to receive my kidney. He was told that my kidney worked immediately, and he is doing very well. We communicate weekly and are planning to meet within the next several weeks. My recipient said that he is now able to get married to a lady he met in a bereavement group while he was mourning the passing of his wife due to cancer. He informed me that while they had not yet determined a date for their wedding, my wife and I would be the FIRST TWO people invited to the wedding. His doctors said that my kidney will allow him to live another 20+ years without a kidney problem. My wife and I started to cry when we heard that.

If I knew prior to surgery what I know now would I still have donated my kidney? ABSOLUTELY and I would do it again if I could. I would even consider donating part of my liver if I were eligible, but I am too old to do that. I would if I could. 

Now, to answer the original question. WHY did I donate at age seventy-two? Saving someone’s life was extremely important to me but the fact that I was able to donate was enough to convince me that I should. I am so glad that I did.